Blog, Caring for others, Self Heal

What Makes Us Care So Well for Others but Much Less Well for Ourselves?

On every flight, to anywhere in the world, we are reminded that in case the oxygen masks drop down while traveling with a dependent, we should put our mask first and then attend to help those who need our assistance. Why do we need these reminders? why isn’t it clear to us, that we need to attend our needs first in order to help others? How can we see so clearly that someone else has a problem but are blind to our own? And even when we do see that we have an issue, why are we automatically available to help others but hardly available to take care of ourselves? 

Perhaps it’s because we are too busy engaging in this major project called Life which leaves us less available to notice some minor details in it..


2-IMGP4691 (2).JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

Life may become hectic, often due to our perception that, we are expected to follow some basic social customs, which may not always be the same as our deep personal believes. And we do so simply because we are too busy for taking a moment to find out what our deep personal believes are. It seems as there is never time for us to take a break. Breaks seem less socially acceptable, while work usually seems to be more appreciated.

This is why it was a bit of a revolutionary act for me, when I decided to start taking one-hour Epsom salts baths every morning. This decision probably has been influenced by my teacher’s remark in the iridology class back at the Naturopathic school, when she looked into my eyes for few good minutes, and finally said: “OOOOHHHHH MMMYYYYYY!!!!!”. She moved on to the eyes of the 26-years-old kid sitting next to me and tells him that if he continues what he is doing, he would be dead by 30. Then, she returned and asked me if I want to hear what she has to say. Engaging all my courage (as I was still in the learning process of saying no…), I politely said: “No, thank you! I am all set!!!!!”.

And set I was! Realizing that something must be changed and starting with the simplest things I could think of – Epsom salt baths in the morning and castor oil packs at night: The night treatment was easy – I did not need to change anything besides applying the packs when I go to sleep. But the morning new routine was a complete different story.

Growing up with amazing parents who do not regard any work as hard, I have been taught to be productive and proactive: there is always something to do or someone to help, and it is never too hard to do everything.
So after all these years of productiveness, I now plan to take a whole hour and do NOTHING! Completely disregarding the fact that there is so much I could do – clean, cook, read, listen to something, learn etc…… and yet, I choose to start my day doing NOTHING.


5-IMGP5100 (2)
Picture by Amit Shlagman

First time sitting in the Epsom bath, I felt very guilty – doing nothing is neither productive nor proactive. This is the complete opposite of how I was raised. Ant yet, I chose to do it. I chose to start changing the believes I grew up on, hoping to reach and follow my own deepest ones,  because I had this huge desire to live.

I have no idea what my teacher saw in my eyes that day, but it does not matter. I knew exactly how I felt then and in the months prior to class. And I also knew that I never took a moment to ponder about it. I did not need a verbal report (or even a diagnosis) to assure me something is off – just needed to stop and figure out what is going on.

As I started to do NOTHING for a whole hour every morning, It was astonishing to notice how, by the end of the day, I managed to finish all my planned tasks much faster and much more efficient than I did before.
I became more focused. I started to understand priorities. I understood what really requires my attention and what is just noise. I also realized that only when I learned the art of doing NOTHING I discovered that I exist. And that I may have some issues that require my attention.


4-IMGP4959
Picture by Amit Shlagman

I became very appreciative for the gift I was giving my kids – teaching them that self care is not a synonym to laziness or neglecting chores, but a priority item on our to-do list. Kids learn from our actions and not from our words. When we act from our deepest personal believes – they learn to do so as well. And when they grow up, they will have a good chance to possess this remarkable tool to help them navigate life.

My feelings of guilt slowly faded, as I worked to ease them away. For many of us, guilt may be a major block in our journeys. According to Anodea Judith, in her book, Chakra Balancing Workbook, Guilt is the demon of unbalanced second chakra (second of seven major energy centers in our body), which is located in our lower belly. She continues to mention that, “the basic right of the second chakra is the right to feel. We may have this right compromised by being told ‘you shouldn’t feel that way’ or that our feelings were wrong or bad, or there is something wrong with you because you were upset, scared or angry.” We may feel that something is wrong when we need a break, since we are taught to keep doing and never taught to stop.

Caroline Myss PhD, in her book, Anatomy of the spirit, mentions that the second chakra possesses the power of Choice. “Managing the power of choice, with all its creative and spiritual implications, is the essence of human experience.” We have the choice to evolve beyond the collective energy and create what is working for us.

We have the right to take a break, and this becomes very clear as a choice we can make, when we balance our second chakra. The second chakra is associated with water, with flexibility (in movement and in life), with enjoyment of beauty (in sight, sound or touch..).  Creating a connection with our second chakra is essential to our healing. Understanding the emotions which we are holding there and hopefully allowing the space to release them, can help up let go of this guilt that we carry. 


IMGP3026 (2).JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

There are many activities that can be great as second chakra openers. Here are few suggestions to begin with. Feel free to research and create your own healing tools to bring balance to second chakra.

  • Stretches like the butterfly movement – when you lay on your back and bring the soles of your feet together while opening and closing your knees (or any other simple yoga pose)
  • Water – Drinking / Dipping / … – correlating with the water element of the chakra
  • Moving – dancing / hiking / biking / … – correlating to fluidity and flexibility
  • Looking at or listening to anything that is perceived beautiful – affecting joy
  • Castor oil packs on abdomen –  lubricating the physical area of our second chakra while relaxing the nervous system to help us connect to our personal deepest believes (read more about The Real reason I love castor packs)

When second chakra is open – body smiles

When balancing and opening the second chakra, many of our hidden feelings and emotions will probably flood us. By then, our body already smiles and is more forgiving and accepting whatever surfs up. Allowing free flowing of these emotions and feelings releases energy that we used for covering them up. We will find that we have more strength and will power to do whatever we wish. And probably will have more courage to open our eyes to see our own selves before others.

4-IMGP5207 (3) - Copy.JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

Sometimes we need a wake-up call to take us out of our automatic pilot who is always available for others, but almost always too busy for self issues. It is important to remember that any shift or transformation takes time, no matter how loud or quiet is our wake up call. It is a journey where we learn that we have to be in our best condition – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually – in order to be in service for others.

Only when we stop and find a time to do NOTHING, we can discover that we exist. And when we discover that we exist, we can learn that we have to address our issues before addressing other’s.

Then, we will be able to take flight. to anywhere in the world and maybe even beyond.
and no reminders will be needed….


1-IMGP5149 (2)
Picture by Amit Shlagman

Read more:

Anatomy of the spirit – Caroline Myss, Ph.D

Chakra Therapy – Keith Sherwood

Chakra Balancing -Anodea Judith

Blog, Castor oil, Self Heal

How Do They Know???

How do trees know that if they let their leaves fall in autumn, new leaves will appear in spring? How do birds know that if they leave their comfort place and venture away, they will arrive to a more supporting environment for their needs? Not so sure if they actually know, but they do have an admirable trust.

How can they have such an irrational trust that, when they let go of what does not serve them anymore, then they will get the things they need exactly at the right time and place? And how can they do it when everything they let go of is probably all they have on earth?

Would it be possible for us to gain such a trust???


IMGP0513 (3)
Picture by Amit Shlagman

Trust is an earned value and is gained when beneficial events repeat and become almost predictable. Being in fight-or-flight mode, we are living in constant state of perceived-war, and we are striving for survival while nothing else matters. In this state of perceived-war, body will not release anything, simply since our body has no idea what will happen next and what it will be needing. Body will hold to everything, even if it is not of service today.
Talking about trust? How can our body trust that every one of its needs will be provided, while still in a state of chaos and has no idea what comes next?

More over, in this perceived-war state, we are not able to notice small shifts in our body, just because we are busy with the important stuff – saving our lives.
And those small shifts – occasional pain here and there, occasional acid reflux, occasional head ache, occasional inflammation, occasional flu, etc.. – they all come with a story. A very unique story that only the owner of the body can understand. But if the owners are busy fighting for their lives, the story will never be heard and probably never be resolved. Unfortunately, the story also will never disappear.

Resolving these unique stories once they are happening, can relief the body from the burden of carrying them around. Shedding these stories may create space for new (maybe better) events.


IMGP1039 (2).JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

So what brings us to this state of constant perceived-war or fight-or-flight? I suspect that our definitions of some words or actions may have a great affect on our state:

  • When Rest is defined as laziness, we do not appreciate sleep. According to Harvard university, sleep enhances memory, immune system, focus, improves mood and actually provides vitality for us to be productive. We are able to achieve much more of our goals in much shorter time when we are rested, rather than running constantly without stopping.

  • When Nourishment is defined as a sophisticated philosophy, we stay away from foods that became less socially acceptable and eat foods that do not nurture our cells. The word “Food” is not always a synonym to Nourishment. It does not matter how much we eat or how we look, but if our cells are not being nourished, we will always be hungry and always seek for something to eat. How can we nourish our body? By eating real food. Food that was not processed or changed by human hand. Food that existed here for thousands of years, and is not new. Food that your grandparents will recognize when you take them shopping – ask them which foods they ate as kids, and learn from them. These foods probably have been helping them survive the foods they are eating now.

  • When Herbs are defined as weeds that we need to eradicate, we surround ourselves with chemicals that manipulate our nervous system. Any insult to our nervous system puts us in a fight-or-flight mode. Would it be possible that we can use some herbs to calm this response?


  • When Body work and Energy work are defined as luxury, we are staying away from touch and from connection to our own body. I believe that touch is key in the process of healing. Nourishing touch has the power to soften tissue so it can release any memories holding us back.

  • When Movement is defined as time demanding, we tend to use our cars more than our feet. This brings to a disconnect from nature, as we spend more time in-doors or in-cars and not outside. A simple act of walking in nature can be very restorative to our nervous system, respiratory system, digestive system, and circulatory system.

  • When Self Education about our bodies is defined as a burden due to overwhelming assignments we need to accomplish throughout the day, we depend on others’ opinions and suggestions, which may not always be the best for us. Taking the time to be in our body and research about our inward discoveries can lower anxieties and fears from the unknown.

62081694_2205625033082496_3561826360076795904_n


How can we change our definitions? We have to bring our body to a state of peace, a state of deep relaxation. And then, we will be able to perceive reality closer to what it is. How can we do that? There are probably millions of ways to bring the body to it’s deeply relaxed/rest-and-digest /parasympathetic state.

However, as an Earthy Taurus, who cannot handle surprises very well, I will stick to my unsurprisingly answer – Castor oil Packs!!!! Castor packs never fail to bring anyone who uses them to a deep state of relaxation. When we are persistent with our actions, even if it is one action only, our body learns to trust us. Our body learns that we have a new tool of communication, and we will not hesitate to operate it. In time, body will be comfortable enough to inform us with its needs. While establishing this dialogue with our body, we become more attentive and aware of things that may come up:

  • Pains which we never took the time to notice, surf up and remind us to get in touch with forgotten events/stories
  • Memories/traumas/grief, which are still waiting to be processed out of our system, may come up
  • Feelings, which we never thought they existed or we kept disregarding, may be experienced
  • Deep understanding of situations, which we never knew why they happened, and may suddenly become clear
  • Constipation may even happen, as we unconsciously trying to hold on to old matter that is surfing up
  • Rashes that appear from no where, but if we pay attention we can see they are located in areas with issues/stories

All the above were hidden and disregarded for many years, probably. When they surf, the best way to deal with them is to acknowledged their existence and accept them into our lives. In his book, The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck talks about the process of healing which can happen when we are willing to deal with pain – emotional or mental or physical pain. Pain is never easy, and resolving pain may be the hardest mission we would ever encounter. However, once we process it out of our body and resolve issues that we would likely hide, we become free to follow and fulfill our dreams. and then we start living…

And when we start living, we can start letting go of what is not serving us on our journey anymore. We can trust that our needs will be supported at the right time and place, even when what we are letting go of, may be all we have on earth…


imgp6723.jpg
Picture by Amit Shlagman
Blog, Self Heal

Mushlemet / perfect; splendid; wonderful; excellent; complete; total

The first time hearing this song happened exactly at the moment I needed it.

I am sharing this song here as I am sure that we all have those days, where our perception does not reflect the reality. This perception can be expressed by feeling hurt from words (spoken or unspoken) or actions (performed or not performed) that may never mean to hurt us, and still, in our minds, they get a completely different meaning.

Mushlemet – one powerful word in Hebrew that is a combination of so many words in English: perfect/ splendid/ wonderful/ excellent/ complete/ total.
And even though the Hebrew word refers to women,  I know we all can relate to the message sent in this song:

You are perfect (mushlemet),  just as you are.
It’s just the world, you see,
That may sometimes be a little messed up ….. 


It’s in Hebrew, but beautiful and worth listening – just click on the song’s name. The words are translated here:


You want to hear that same tune
To go back to your protected space
Thunders are frightening
And it is dangerous to be afraid
So, you are adding numbers in your head
Like the rain-men who count drops
Only your eyes never get wet

And while everyone are swimming with the stream
You are not swimming at all
How can they not see how radiant you are –   
Shining like all the stars above

you are perfect (mushlemet)
you are perfect (mushlemet)
Just as you are
It’s just the world, you see
That may sometimes be a little messed up

Sometimes you’re obviously angry
And it is not clear at all about what
I want to rescue you
Explain to you that you are not the one to be blamed
You sing the same tune again
Repeating the exact same melody again and again
It sounds afresh to me
every time you sing it again

And while everyone is dancing together
You are dancing in the corner by yourself 
How do they not see that this is what’s good for you – 
That you don’t need anyone around

you are perfect (mushlemet)
you are perfect (mushlemet)
Just as you are
It’s just the world, you see
That may sometimes be a little messed up

You’re perfect (mushlemet), you’re perfect (mushlemet)
Just as you are  – with your mysterious look
You’re perfect (mushlemet), perfect (mushlemet)
With these two laughing dimples 
And this mouth which does not answer

but I
I hear you all the time
Even when you are there
I am always here

We are all whole. We are all complete. We are all perfect.
Exactly as we are.

Blog, Self Heal, Self Love

Nourishing with Touch

cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-received_9973923007961.jpeg

“Healing Resides At The Roots of Nature & Touch,
and Is Drawn Up By The Eternal Flames of Our Traditions”

~Traditionally Empowered Healing~ 

 

As living beings, nourishment is a fundamental need. However, as living beings in our era, we may all be deficient of it. Either deficient of nourishing foods or deficient of nourishing touch.

Nourishing foods are rich in materials that feed our cells and help them function efficiently. But what is nourishing touch? How would it benefit our body?


IMGP1573 (2).JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

Exactly like foods, touch comes in many varieties and not every touch is nourishing. Nourishing touch is most naturally associated with parental (=unconditional loving) touch, as we tend to refer to our parents as nourishing entities. If you want to create such a touch, simply imagine the person you are touching to be your kid, and touch them exactly as you would like your child to be touched.

This kind of touch is not only physical. It is mostly emotional and mental, as we allow our cells to open. Everything we kept closed inside, suddenly has the permission to come to light: Every feeling that we buried,  every thought that we concealed, and even memories that we dismissed without processing. Once these memories / thoughts / feelings start to flood us, we have the choice to hide them again or to accept them into our lives.

Any issue we are dealing with requires lots of energy from us. But hiding that issue (mainly from ourselves) requires much more energy, which eventually can deplete our vitality.  The wiser (aka older) we grow, the more energy our body requires for daily functions and we have less energy to spare for other purposes.
As we grow wiser, we may feel more exhausted and sense that our body is not servicing us as before. Physical check would be a great venue to take to see what is happening, but along with that, it is imperative to take a deeper look and watch for hidden burdens. Since we are so accustomed to keep moving through our routines, it is not very obvious to us that we may disregard our feelings. When we learn to use our energy in the most efficient way for our body, healing can rise.


IMGP3436 (2).JPG
Picture by Amit Shlagman

This is a process. A whole new world of inner discoveries. Nourishing touch should be regarded as a practice, like yoga or meditation, in order for our body to start trusting and letting go. The more we nourish, the healthier we get. The closer we are to real things  – real food, real touch, real outdoor activities, real relationships, real emotional expression, real/honest reactions – the faster we can approach real healing.

Nourishing our Emotional, Mental and Spiritual aspects is essential. Simply because Physical nourishment is not enough. And Touch will probably cover them all…

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Blog, Castor oil, Self Heal

The Real Reason I Love Castor Oil Packs

When I was 20 years old, I was unstoppable. Nothing could stand in my way. Not even the minor car accident (in which a drunk driver rear-ended my car and I ended up with “just” a whiplash). Not even the excruciating pain in my neck which lasted years.

20 years later, “suddenly”, with no apparent reason, I could not move my arm. Only after visiting a chiropractor, who showed and explained me how big is the damage I have caused to my neck and spine, just from neglecting the injury, I realized what I have done. If I would only stop and do one of the things I know now (even just resting or applying a castor oil pack) the whole picture may have been different.

After few visits, I felt much better and pain was gone. Still unstoppable at that time, I then understood that this was just the beginning of my healing journey. Fixing a damage that has been accumulated in 20 years is not possible in a week. And this was my “Stop sign”. Up to that point, the easiest way for me to handle these “stop signs” was to ignore them. However, opening my eyes to view this sign, made me realize that this is my own responsibility to attend my own health. This is my own responsibility to find the time to give attention to my body or seek professional help to guide me how.

This has become a life journey, and as it keeps unfolding, I am fascinated by all the unstoppable souls who are crossing my way, seeking my friendly or my professional advice, and one thing keeps repeating over and over again:

Applying a castor oil pack has brought many of these souls to a very deep state of realization that a change needs to take place. Witnessing this phenomenon, either in my office or hearing from those who I suggested to apply the packs, brought me to the belief that deep state of relaxation has the amazing power to change lives – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Castor oil, a very thick oil derived from the castor bean (Ricinus communis) seed, has been praised for many benefits. Among them: Enhancing relaxation, Decreasing inflammation, Increasing circulation of blood and lymph thus enhancing the immune system, Improving elimination of toxic substances, Promoting tissue healing, Decreasing pain, Lubricating ligaments, Improving digestion, Easing many conditions including uterine fibroid, non-malignant ovarian cysts, endometriosis,  headaches, migraines, constipation, intestinal disorders, gallbladder/liver conditions, and probably many more.

A castor oil pack can be done in many ways. The way that works best for me is simply applying the oil on the belly, covering with a hand-towel, topping with a hot water bottle and laying down for at least one hour.

16409717_10154996677753633_1187202756_o

When applying the castor oil pack on the belly, the oil lubricates and stimulates all the tissues, organs and systems in this region. Along with that, the heat draws the blood vessels up closer to the skin as they vasodilate, and oil is being absorbed into the blood circulation as well, thus distributed through the whole body.

Lubricating and stimulating organs as the small intestine, bladder, colon, liver, uterus, which are part of systems that are inhibited when body is under stress (when the autonomic nervous system functions at its sympathetic / fight-or-flight state), signals the nervous system to shift to the relaxed state (parasympathetic state). This may cause a confusion for the person experiencing it, since many of us may have not “visited” the parasympathetic system for a very long time. We are trapped in the fight-or-flight loop and do not know how to find the moment to breath and recover.

Shifting to the parasympathetic system creates a space, allowing to view life in a clear and focused perspective. It allows me to be more centered into my own body, realizing that so many things are happening inside, while I keep myself very busy outside. This deep relaxation opens my mind to ask the real questions, which I have been avoiding for a long time:

  • Am I so busy working for others that I cannot find an hour for myself to walk outdoors or to engage in some movement?
  • Am I so busy running after everyone’s needs (my spouse, my kids, my cat, my dog, my friends, my neighbors, my, my, my, my, my…. Oh my) that I don’t have an hour to seek a professional guidance resolving my own issues?
  • Am I so busy being busy that I cannot find an hour to understand what relaxation really means?

In my eyes, a castor oil pack can be a major life changer. Such a simple action with such a powerful result. Even if at this moment, I am not able to answer all these questions, I have planted the seed, so when time is right – I will be ready to take the ownership over my life and start my journey.

And this is the real reason I love castor oil and I would keep telling everyone again and again and again that they should try a castor oil pack….

***Anat Shlagman is a Traditional Naturopath specializing in Relaxation, utilizing a unique tailored session, combined of Reflexology, Castor oil pack, Abdominal massage and Energy work, designed to bring the autonomic nervous system to its parasympathetic state.

Some sources

The Edgar Cayce ARE – https://edgarcayce.org/resources/holistic-health-database/therapies/castor-oil-packs/

The oil that heals – A physician’s successes with castor oil treatments – William A. McGarey, MD

Herbs of grace – Farida Sharan